The 5 Skills Emotionally Intelligent People Have

Did you know that you have an Emotional IQ? It is your level of intelligence and ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotion. Here's why it's so important-- it is now proven to be a better predictor of future success than traditional methods like the GPA, IQ, and standardized test scores. For this reason, this week I have chosen to focus on Emotional Intelligence--for both personal enhancement and home and family healing.

Emotional Intelligence encompasses the following five characteristics and abilities:

1. Self-awareness

Self-awareness is knowing your emotions, recognizing feelings as they occur, and discriminating between them. A good example of this is recognizing when and what emotions you're feeling. Say someone said something that upset you. Having high self-awareness would allow you to recognize that you are upset and where the cause happened. You cannot be emotionally intelligent without the ability to first recognize your feelings as they occur.  

2. Mood management

Mood management is handling feelings so they're relevant to the current situation and you react appropriately. Mood management comes after self-awareness. It is taking control of how you react to the emotions that you are feeling. 

An angry person with a high EQ (emotional intelligence) might decide to go on a walk to detach themselves from a situation instead of lashing out at someone. A sad person with a high EQ might decide to exercise or apply uplifting essential oils (such as wild orange or lime) in order to help their brain chemistry become naturally "happy". Mood management is crucial to success in any field or circumstance and is an important skill to develop.

3. Self-motivation

Self-motivation is using your emotions to direct yourself towards a goal, despite self-doubt, inertia, and impulsiveness. Learning how to motivate yourself despite your negative emotions is a skill that will undoubtedly end with success. 

If you struggle with this, try making a list of consistent obstacles that keep you from accomplishing your goals. Look inside yourself (self-awareness) to discover what is holding you back. Then, write down a way you can overcome that obstacle with your available resources (mood management). As you become to recognize what holds you back and plan ways to overcome them, your self-motivation with increase rapidly as you walk down the road to emotional intelligence. 

4. Empathy

Empathy is recognizing feelings in others and tuning into their verbal and nonverbal cues. To some, this is a natural gift. To others, this takes time. Try asking questions and letting others speak about themselves and their own lives. As you reach outwards to understand and serve, your ability to empathize will increase tenfold. 

5. Managing relationships

Relationship management is handling interpersonal interaction, conflict resolution, and negotiations. Everyone is in some sort of relationship, whether it be marriage, dating, siblings, friends, roommates, etc. Learning how to handing interpersonal relationships is key to your happiness. 

You will always be in a relationship of one kind or another, so there's no avoiding this one! Seek to be patient, kind, and service oriented while also recognizing your needs and wants. Be willing to compromise and forgive. Those who do this tend to have a high EQ. 

In a 1994 report on the current state of emotional literacy in the U.S., author Daniel Goleman stated:

" navigating our lives, it is our fears and envies, our rages and depressions, our worries and anxieties that steer us day to day. Even the most academically brilliant among us are vulnerable to being undone by unruly emotions. 

The price we pay for emotional literacy is in failed marriages and troubled families, in stunted social and work lives, in deteriorating physical health and mental anguish and, as a society, in tragedies such as killings."

Goleman attests that the best remedy for battling our emotional shortcomings is preventive medicine. In other words, we need to place as much importance on teaching our children the essential skills of Emotional Intelligence as we do on more traditional measures like IQ and GPA.

Before we can teach our children these skills, WE must have high emotional intelligence. This means we need to better understand our thoughts, feelings, and underlying intentions. We also need to be emotionally balanced and know how to direction emotional energy in positive ways. Becoming self- aware is the first step and is most important!

Essential Oil Tip

dōTERRA’s On Guard Protective Blend of wild orange, clove, and cinnamon help strengthen the immunity and provides us with physical protection from pathogens and harmful bacteria. Emotionally, this blend protects us by strengthening our inner selves, encouraging us to stand up for what we believe. It helps us to create boundaries and not let harmful energy around us into our personal energy field where it may deplete us. 

Rebecca's Challenge

For this week's homework, begin to understand your emotional stress-particularly the events, people, and triggers that cause you stress. Remember what the poet William Blake wrote: "All you behold without, it is within." Don't get caught projecting your emotions onto others. Take responsibility.

Here's a tip: if you get hot and bothered or highly annoyed with a situation or a person, chances are, the emotional issue has to do with you—not them. Pay attention this week and get to know your emotions. 

Have a wonderful week,
Rebecca Hintze


My FREE 5-Step online course walks you through simple answers and usable tips that are life-changing and will make a meaningful difference in your mood, mind, and overall happiness!

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