First, set an intention by answering the question, "What do I want most in my life right now?"
Probe your mind for a moment. Ask: What is it that I want the most and why do I want it?
World renowned social intelligence Psychologist, Daniel Golemen, taught that our relationships, with ourselves and others, mold not just our experience but our biology. The brain-to-brain link allows our strongest relationships to shape us. That link is a double-edged sword: nourishing relationships have a beneficial impact on our health, while toxic ones can act like slow poison in our bodies. The more we are able to identify, use, understand, and manage our emotions, the more we are able to live a happy and healthy life.
The way we can achieve what we want most in our lives, lies in our ability to be emotionally intelligent (EQ) and strengthen the following 4 areas:
Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management
In the next 4 blog posts we will discuss the TOP 10 Strategies that you can use to increase EQ in each area;
Part 1: Self-Awareness
Part 2: Self-Management
Part 3: Social Awareness
Part 4: Relationship Management
Part 1/4
Top 10 Strategies to become more SELF-AWARE
To be self-aware is knowing one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, and goals and their impact on others.
An increase in self-awareness leads to an increase in self-confidence, realistic self-assessment, and a thirst for constructive criticism.
Strategy 1 - Quit treating your feelings as good or bad.
Understand that judging your emotions prevents you from understanding them, adds more emotions to the pile, and keeps you from being able to see the cause of the original feeling. Understand, don’t judge.
Strategy 2. Observe the ripple effect from your emotions.
Recognize that when you act out based on your emotions, the effects can be long-term and influence individuals other than the person at whom you directed the emotion.
Strategy 3. Lean into your discomfort and feel your emotions physically.
Remind yourself that when we tend to try to ignore or minimize unpleasant emotions, it prevents us from understanding those emotions. Learn to spot the physical changes that come with your different emotions; you’ll be able to better understand what you’re feeling.
Strategy 4. Know who and what pushes your buttons.
Identify the exact people, situations, and environments that trigger your emotions by rubbing you the wrong way, and make a list. Be very specific. This will then allow you to determine the source of your reaction to these things.
Strategy 5. Watch yourself like a hawk and check yourself.
Develop a more objective understanding of your behavior by taking notice of your emotions and behaviors as a situation unfolds. Observe your facial expressions, body language, clothes, and so on. Your physical appearance always gives good clues about how you feel.
Strategy 6. Keep a journal about your emotions.
Write about your emotions to understand them better, identify patterns, track progress and remind yourself to not act in a way you'd regret. Because emotions are intangible, writing about them helps to quantify them and will later help you to remember particular tendencies in the moment.
Strategy 7. Don’t be fooled by a bad mood or good mood
Recognize when it is the emotional state that’s affecting you rather than the individual emotion. A bad mood can overshadow all your emotions, so going through the process to identify what caused the mood is extremely helpful.
Don’t be fooled by a good mood, either. Seek to understand why your good moods happen, both for the sake of understanding your emotions better and to avoid harm that can come from a good mood (irrational exuberance, for example).
Strategy 8. Get to know yourself under stress.
Learn to recognize your personal physiological and emotional first signs of stress, and take the time to rest or recharge before that stress piles up.
Strategy 9. Spot your emotions in books, movies, and music.
Consider which of these things grabs your attention, and ask yourself why. Art that you identify with can offer further clues about your emotions.
Strategy 10. Seek feedback.
Ask others for specific examples and look for similarities in different people’s answers. Because your understanding of your emotions is limited by your own perspective, getting feedback from others is invaluable.
I love using essential oils to help support my mental health. If you love using them too, I recommend to use the following supporting oils while implementing these strategies: Bergamot, Lavender, Wild Orange, Marjoram, Melissa, Frankincense, Clary Sage, and Balance.
Stay tuned for part 2...
Your friend,
Rebecca Hintze