"A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else,"
-Cardinal De Retz.
No matter the dream, establishing strong and trusting relationships--with others and ourselves--is a fundamental part of creating dreams. Why? Because relationships are all that matter. And ultimately, our relationship with ourselves determines the outcome of our lives.
Our bodies are made up of cells; and those cells' relationships to one another define our physical structure and health. Indeed, the entire ecosystem runs effortlessly based upon the relationships of living species.
More specific to our personal lives are our relationships with one another, which have the power to make us happy or sad, peaceful or conflicted, fearful or secure. It is our healthy relationships that bring us the greatest happiness and joy. And relationships become healthy when they are built on trust.
Trust is an essential value, necessary to breeding success. How do we come to trust ourselves, and then trust others? Here are three essentials:
1. Make the right choices.
First, we must discipline ourselves to consistently make choices that we feel are for our best and highest good. Sometimes this means forsaking momentary pleasure or behavior that isn't consistent with our goals. Honest choices--ones that are helpful and not harmful--facilitate confidence and trust over time. Regularly (and even frequently) we may be tempted to make choices that conflict with our goals; but if we consistently make choices that align with our goals, we foster trust--and success--even when the choices are difficult and involve some sacrifice on our part.
2. Learn to love ourselves.
Second, we must learn to love ourselves, even--and especially when--no one else will. It's easy to be true to our goals when we love enough to give ourselves the gift of success. This may be easy or challenging, depending on the home environment in which we originated. Most kids decide to love and accept themselves if and when they feel loved by their family and friends. Children who experience harsh abuse, criticism, or judgment generally grow to adulthood struggling to love who they are. When we don't love ourselves, we struggle to trust others as well as ourselves.
3. Build confidence through service.
Third, we must build confidence through service. Why? Because self-trust is usually lost in selfishness. Selfishness is a destructive cycle. It often begins with a feeling of emptiness, which leads us to focus on our unmet needs (why can't I have this? why does everyone else seem fulfilled? why am I the only one . . . ), we become depressed, and then stop giving to others. We can't be happy or feel good about ourselves when we're in this cycle. Serving others begins a different, healthy cycle, full of good relationships: We serve others, we feel accomplished, we realize what we have been given, we feel happy, and then we reach out and give again in our relationships. This kind of cycle breeds success and self-trust.
For this week's personal development, follow the words of Cherie Carter-Scott, author of one of my favorite quotes. Cherie said, "Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible."
Essential Oil Tip
Marjoram is a member of the mint family, and as such, it has antibacterial and antiviral properties making it medicinal in nature. Marjoram helps to relieve joint and tissue pain, particularly when combined with lemongrass. Alone, marjoram helps individuals who cannot create meaningful relationships, because of deep emotional wounds or trauma, to move forward and connect. Marjoram can assist in helping us learn to trust others and ourselves.
Have a wonderful week,
Rebecca Linder Hintze
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