6 Tips for Changing the Way You Think about Yourself

Learning to feel comfortable in your own skin, to truly love who you are, takes a lot of work. But, as Brené Brown wrote in Daring Greatly, “Owning [your] story and loving [yourself] through that process is the bravest thing that [you’ll] ever do.” 

Recently, on my Emotions Mentor podcast, I spoke with energy and emotions expert Sharon Ho about how to do just that—own your story and love who you are.

In our conversation, we identified six specific things you can do on your journey to self-love. Below, each idea is repeated, along with an affirmation you can use to help imprint the idea in your mind. 

Affirmations are powerful because verbalizing thoughts, truths, and facts imbues those truths with energy and allows them to enter your mindset and become a part of who you are. Repeat the suggested affirmations each day, saying the words out loud and with passion. 
If desired, pair each affirmation with an essential oil to associate a positive aroma and feeling with the statement. 

Oils can be diffused, applied topically (try the wrists, the back of the neck, or the bottoms of your feet), or simply inhaled—straight from the bottle.

1. Determine if limited family beliefs are affecting your ability to love yourself.

Family life can be chaotic, challenging, loving, comforting, and so many other things. In both strong, thriving families and struggling, dysfunctional families, ideas are passed down from generation to generation that contribute to the ways we think about ourselves. 

For example, you might have grown up believing you are bossy and demanding because that’s what you heard Mom tell her sister on occasion: “She’s the bossy one, always telling everyone what to do.” 

Or maybe you’ve come to believe that you’re the silly one, the needy one, the responsible one, or the “always-late” one, and so on. Take some time to think about what you believe and where that belief comes from. 

Write down any beliefs that you feel are limiting your potential. (For more information on exploring your family’s history to help you grow and heal, look for my book Healing Your Family History.)

Affirmation: The future can be anything I want it to be.

Oil: Bergamot

2. Look for gifts your family has given you.

Families typically pass down both limiting beliefs and tremendous gifts. Once you’ve discovered what might be limiting you, look for the good things you have because of your family. Think of family stories that recount courage, strength, hope, or love. What have those stories taught you? Click here to learn more about the power of family stories.

Affirmation—I am blessed. Each day holds something new to be grateful for.

Oil: Rosemary

3. Stop comparing yourself to others.

It’s been said that comparison is the thief of joy. I believe that’s true. In addition, comparisons are nearly always ill-informed because you can never know what is going on in another person’s life, mind, and heart. Instead of focusing on the things other people are doing, focus on the good things you are doing or can do. 

If you are having a particularly hard time with this, try staying off social media for a few weeks or losing yourself in a meaningful project, a good book, or even an hour at the gym.

Affirmation—I am enough.


4. Forgive.

Whether it’s your family you need to forgive for passing down incorrect beliefs, or it’s yourself you need to forgive, doing so will free you from guilt, pain, shame, and anger. 

Affirmation—I forgive others and let peace flow through me. I forgive myself and love who I am. I accept myself.

Oil—Myrrh or doTerra Forgive blend

5. Don’t let labels confine or define you.

Don’t give in to pressure that says you must act or believe a certain way just because you fit in to a particular demographic, social group, or other category. So many of the labels used to describe people today are limiting and carry heavy biases with them. Instead of thinking of yourself as a baby boomer or millennial, a conservative or a liberal, an academic or a blue-collar worker, think of yourself with the only label that matters: a human being full of divine potential and worth.

Affirmation—I am perfect just the way I am. I am full of divine potential and great worth.


6. Make a contribution to the world.

Build on your talents, serve others, learn something new. By doing positive things that can potentially help others, you can fill any voids in your life with joy and peace.  

Affirmation—I can make a difference in the world by being kinder, more forgiving, and more generous with my gifts and talents.


To discover more ideas, affirmations, and essential oil tips for increasing self-love, check out these articles on my blog:

Good luck in this important journey,
Rebecca Hintze 

PS. To learn more about how you can become a better you, check out our Good Mood Bootcamp online Course! Click below!

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