Many varying beliefs pervade our families and affect our self-worth and our ability to give and receive love. Some people believe it’s good to be friendly, while others teach that it’s best to be reserved and quiet. Some think that the only way to live is to coexist with your extended family throughout life; others believe that it’s not normal to live with your relatives. Different groups may hold that it’s better to choose this vs. that. Truly, it’s impossible to please everyone and somehow jump through all the social hoops our cultures and society demand!
In the children’s book by Max Lucado, “If Only I Had a Green Nose,” the pervading belief among the village people in the story is that you must follow the latest trend in the community to be accepted and loved - even if the current fad is as ridiculous as believing it’s ‘cool to have a green nose’.
We all know this type of thing happens in our adult world. Expectations in our culture or community exist. Some of them seem ridiculous like having a green nose (from Lucado’s story), and as we try to fit in (or not) our self-worth is often impacted. In truth, any limiting belief can have an impact on our self-image and our ability to love others and ourselves.
As humans, we have an innate desire to belong, to be loved, and to be validated. As we seek to fulfill these desires, we have a tendency to rest our self-worth on the opinions of others and compare our ability to keep up with cultural trends, and/or our achievements of things external. Unfortunately, in so doing, we quickly find we’ve set ourselves up for long-term disappointment.
The truth is--our self-worth is innate. It’s not attached to stuff, or the opinions of others. Our individual worth isn’t tied to the external--like the house we live in, the car we drive, the clothes we wear, the college we attended, or even the color of our nose (Lucado’s story again--you’ve gotta read it!). You are valuable just because you are YOU!
What if the only expectation you had for yourself was to be the best you can be? What if you told yourself every morning that you love yourself and you promise to treat your body and mind with kindness and love and compassion? What if you could shake off the opinions of others and stop trying so hard to fit in, but instead, be the authentic, lovable YOU!
The truth is … if you did this, you’d find greater happiness, joy, and inner peace.
I know, if only it were that simple!
Realizing it can take time to get to this place of self-assuredness and inner bliss, I’ve gathered three of my top tips to help you increase a greater sense of self-value. My advice is to start here--try these--and make these simple steps a part of your daily routine.
Here you go … my 3 Simple Tips to Strengthen Self-Worth
1- Be Grateful!
Each morning think of a few things you are grateful for. Reach deep, and try to recall your many blessings. For example, if you decide you’re grateful for your bed, you can dig deep and realize you’re probably also grateful that you have sheets for your bed, and a pillow, and a blanket, and maybe the air conditioning keeping you cool at night while you sleep, or running water you have access to that keeps your bed space clean, etc. Let your mind wander deep to the many blessings that are present in your life today. As you do so, you’ll notice that your feelings of self-worth will increase.
2- Learn a Lesson!
We’re humans! We experience joy and sadness as part of life. And we make mistakes (yep, we all do!). We even find ourselves in difficult circumstances perhaps created by others’ mistakes. It’s easy to complain and feel sorry for ourselves when trials happen. Though what if there’s a lesson in the trial? Just a thought--what if instead of complaining, you emotionally remove yourself from the drama of the moment and ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” “Is there a gift in this experience?” “If there is a gift, what is it?” By taking this type of focus, it’s my experience that you’ll find lessens that will literally take away the burden and help you grow and improve. Know this, sometimes your mess is your message. And hint: the faster you get the lesson, the sooner you get to move on, and the faster you’ll increase feelings of self-worth.
3- Practice Forgiveness!
We all have someone to forgive and sometimes that person is our self. Forgiveness can work miracles, heal hearts, minds and bodies. Forgiveness is generally required after we’ve been wounded, beat down, and we feel damaged, and the last thing we want to do is forgive! In reality, forgiveness means strength. Mahatma Gandhi taught, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” Show your strength and let it go! In so doing, you’ll find greater peace and a stronger sense of personal power which will increase your sense of self-worth.
Here’s an Essential Oil Tip to help you along this path:
First, use wild orange regularly and affirm in your thoughts, “I love and accept myself.”
Next, if you enjoy blending, try this DIY roller blend to facilitate forgiveness of others:
Blend 3 drops each Bergamot, Geranium, Helichrysum, Melissa and Ylang Ylang in a glass bottle top off with Fractionated Coconut Oil.
Apply 3 drops of the blend in hand and rub counterclockwise around the belly button while stating affirmations out loud.
Affirmations: I forgive others for not being perfect. I forgive others for miss-communicating information about me. I communicate only loving messages to and about myself. I love and accept myself.
Always remember--YOU ARE WORTHY and YOU ARE ENOUGH!